I planned a trip to the red river gorge with some friends. Things didn’t go exactly as planned, in fact, almost everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Even more so, even things that you would think couldn’t go wrong did. We did have some fun, but overall the trip was a dud and it needs to be redone right, so I’ll probably plan another trip very soon that I hope should go right this time. Either way, the following is a list of the highlights including all of the FAIL moments.
Step 1: Get a large group of people together to go camping… FAIL
I invited about ten or more people and we ended up with five people, one of which couldn’t even stay longer than one day. Most people had to work, watch kids, or just plain bailed out at the last minute.
Jackass #1: This guy just plain bailed on us
Jackass # 2: This guy had to work, nice bloody excuse…
Jackass # 3: This guy also had to work, pfffft, yeah right!!
Other Jackasses not listed in picutre: Joey and Brian
Step 2: Leave on time!! FAIL
The most important part of camping is leaving on time to set up your campsite, finding the right campsite, and actually DOING something the first night you are there. This all failed miserably. We didn’t actually leave Ohio until 5:00 P.M. because we were lazy, unorganized, and had to run extra errands that were not originally planned (AHEM.. Erick). We didn’t even get to the campsite until 10:00 P.M. This was AFTER parking in a campsite we thought wasn’t taken but was, being stopped by a ranger, and getting stuck in dirt and having to use four wheel drive to get out. Putting up tents in the dark sucks!
Step 3: Properly load up the camping gear on top of the car… FAIL
That’s right. We’re stupid. We loaded coolers, sleeping bags, and supplies on top of my SUV but didn’t use the racks. By not using the racks, we caused a dent in my SUV’s roof. We had to stop along the way in to unload everything on top, pop out the dent and use the racks like we were supposed to in the first place.
Step 4: Find the right campsite (more on this later) FAIL:
Not only was it dark because we got there late, but our campsite was basically a field with nothing but HUGE weeds/flowers which made my allergies kick in full gear. We had to hack down tons of them to even clear the path. There was no fire pit, and the ground was so hard that we couldn’t even get the stakes into the ground for the tents so we had to just weigh them down with coolers and other things.
Step 5: Don’t forget anything…
I forgot a lot of things, as did everyone else. We had to buy a bunch of stuff from the local gas station/convenient store. Not only did I forget stuff at home, I forgot to grab a bag of ice that I bought from the convenient store that night! FAIL
Step 6: Don’t go hiking with someone who is sick
My friend Erick was so sick that he complained the ENTIRE time we went on a trail. Every little hill, bump, step, rock, twig, bug, etc. was a nusance to him for some reason and he had to let everyone know about it at ALL TIMES. I think I might have almost puked once at the amount of complaining he was doing. Erk… it wasn’t THAT bad! Also, you don’t need to wash your hands after getting dirty dude, it’s frakking camping!!
Erick resting for about the 20th time (I stopped counting)
Step 7: Don’t camp on private property!! FAIL
We didn’t know it was private property, but the ranger and sheriff sure made an effort to show up and tell us. This is when the camping trip ended. Apparently we were on private property and they told us that we had to move our camp site somewhere else. Yeah right, we were not about to take down EVERYTHING, load it up, try to find a campsite (all were taken anyways), unload everything again, and set up camp AGAIN in the dark like the night before. Getting the camp site set up at midnight with enough time for a 1 hour fire and roasted hot dogs is not my idea of a blast, especially on the last night we were supposed to be there. Also, the sheriff gave us a hard time. He was trying to find drugs on us which we did NOT have. He found some little white pegs that went to a camp chair and asked if they were pills, smelled my tupperware salt/pepper shaker asking if there was drugs in it, and accused us of drinking (which we were going to do but hadn’t done so yet).
Apparently salt and pepper are abusive drugs now:
Thus ends the camping trip. We had to stop to fix the load on my car, we were late, had to set up our tent in dark, camped in an nightmare area for someone with allergies, camped on private property
and kicked off by the police, had friends bail on us, friends who complained on hikes and were clean freaks during camping, forgot stuff before and during the camping trip, and to top it all off I didn’t get to drink any beer or smoke a cigar!! Though the camping trip sucked there was a few good moments when we hiked in the gorge and scaled a large rock/mountain formation called the indian staircase. All in all, I still got to spend a small amount of time with friends away from society for a day or so and got to do some hiking I wouldn’t normally be able to do with the kids around. Below are a couple of pictures from the highlights of the trip:
Here is a link to the full album: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wolfspirittt/sets/72157622270226242/